“Julie was always like no, no, no to the idea of marriage and now she’s doing it. It’s always been something she’s dreaded.”
On the way home the other night on the underground, I overheard two ladies discuss an untouched topic.
The two girls sat opposite each other. One wore a beige brown coat lined with fur around the collar, pearl earrings, orangey ugg boots and had brown medium hair tied in a high pony tail with a fringe and a messy plait on the right side pulled into her pony tail.
The girl opposite had wavy long blonde hair, evenly partly, curly at the crown and slightly yellow tinged. She wore a black coat with a grey jumper underneath folded over the cuffs for detail, and a crimson purple delicate scarf hidden underneath the layers. Medium rimmed glasses sat comfortably on her face.
Both had slightly smudged black mascara under their eyelashes- evidence of their long day in London. They both yawned throughout their conversation.
To be honest, I don’t often listen in to people’s conversations on public transport, as I’m often in my own world, but occasionally something said will catch my attention. As the two girls began to discuss their friends and marriage, curiosity got the better of me and I couldn’t help but overhear.
As the girls began to talk about their friend who was soon to be wed, and the annoyance, frustration and sense of grief they described about her, it was quite a shock.
It reminded me of a topic often discussed back at home in Sydney- hearing about couples who had been together for a while, and once they got married, everything seemed half as magical, exhausting and dare i say it, ruined. The love wasn’t like it used to be. And it wasn’t better.
For me, it really breaks my heart hearing these stories. You can’t help but think how did society come to this point? Marriage used to be such a gem, such a treasure, such an achievement! Now I find myself in the country with the highest divorce rate!
I don’t get it. I walk the streets, board the tube and visit cafes to see a multitude of loved up couples, embraced in each others arms, holding hands at the table, whispering lovely murmurs into each others ears and passionately kissing on corners of bust streets.
Yet some married couples… they seem so.. dry.
Exhausted. Out of love. Sick of each other.
I think we’ve changed what marriage should be. People move in and become intimate before they make that official commitment, and yes I believe each to their own, but you have to start to think is this really okay? Couples didn’t do this as often before, and what was marriage like then?
One word comes to mind- passionate.
The very word that describes love itself. Passion. When you can’t bear to be without someone for a day. When you would do anything for them, and your happiness is quite dependent on theirs. Cheesy but its true. #Truth
These days there appears to be a lack of trust, commitment and satisfaction in relationships- Married and just dating. I hear and see it everywhere. I’ve come to the furthest place from home and it’s still the same.
Whether it’s arguing house mates on the phone to boyfriends, the girls and boys I meet and talk to at bars, or the stars I see on reality TV shows: no one seems entirely satisfied!
So what’s the solution? Will we ever really be happy with just one other? Can marriage actually be a time of great joy, love and satisfaction?
I’ve seen it done before. And I know the answer. But it’s definitely something that requires a lot more effort and dedication then jumping from man to man or woman to woman and just hoping that it will work out.
It might be a struggle but it’s definitely worth the fight.
What are your thoughts on marriage and relationships these days? How do you keep the spark and satisfaction alive in yours?