Hobbified: my new term to describe the act, or mental state of having lesiure and casual activities that fill in the spare time between the necessities of life (i.e. work, studies, eating, and sleep) and the extreme circumstances in life (l.o.v.e)
A recent topic of conversation with my boyfriend and friends has been the importance for partners to both maintain separate interests and hobbies. Upon reading the article (http://goodwomenproject.com/dating/5-tips-for-dating-a-little-happier-by-kayte), I was reminded of my partners and I first date where I felt independent and proud of all the things in my life whether it be dancing or photography or travel. All the things that kept me occupied and secure whilst I had a decent amount of spare time for myself in my single days.
Getting into a relationship can definitely be a rocky integration as your hobbies clash, and you begin to have to sacrifice your interests in order to spend more time with the other in order to show ‘commitment’.
But then an image springs to mind- just like that off ‘How to Lose A Guy in 10 Days.’ Complete morphing- she becomes him, he becomes her. Matching outfits, EVERYTHING is done together- eating, drinking, sleeping, watching, same movies, same favourite sports, SAME HOBBIES.
Ahhhhh some may revel in the joy of such a state but I can’t think of anything more ‘puke-worthy.’
To me, I feel like that is a very dangerous place to be in, because as you start to make each other your world, you lose yourself, and even though you think you are becoming closer, you’re actually not as you lose those things that are really imporatnt to you and your identity, and you have less to share and learn from each other. And what happens if things don’t work out and you break up? When they were literally your everything, once they’re gone, you’re not left with much.
One of my favourite things I see in relationships and my own, is seeing the other find joy in the little things that you could never (or rarely). Having an appreciation for their unique tastes is such a healthy thing for both of you and WILL help you both become closer to each other.
So remember, whether you’re in a relationship now or single, never lose sight of those life long hobbies, or the little things that you enjoy doing daily that some might never understand or get joy from- because that’s what makes you YOU and that’s what attracted your friends / partner to you.
Embrace your hobbified state!
What are your favourite hobbies? Do you and your partner naturally share any hobbies?